Understanding
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Narcissa and Sirius share a conversation at four o clock in the morning. She just wants to make sure he knows that someone in the family still cares.


**Disclaimer – I own nothing you recognise. **

**Beta'd by the lovely Michy :)**

**Written for the Mix and Match Competition, using the prompts Accio/Clear/It's four in the morning.**

**Also written for the Disney Character Competition – Agent Pleakley. **

**Understanding**

Sirius sat slumped in the armchair, a million thoughts racing through his mind, but only one of them making sense. The thought revolved around, passing his mind's eye a thousand times a second. He longed for it to be wrong even as he knew it was right, and he wished and prayed for the courage to do what he knew he must.

He couldn't take it anymore. The hypocritical views of his family, the pressure to be the perfect son, to be the perfect Black. This had been coming for a long time, ever since he'd put that mucky old hat on his head and heard the word 'Gryffindor' shouted out for the whole Hall to hear. Perhaps from even before then. The train ride to Hogwarts which he had happily shared with James? Before then, even? He didn't know. All he knew was what he had to do.

He had to leave. He had to escape.

He heard creaking on the stairs and grabbed up his wand, trying to put a disillusionment charm over himself before whoever it was found him. He couldn't be found now. If he saw his brother, if he saw Regulus walk through that door, his resolve would shatter and he would stay. The door opened before he could cast his spell, and he sighed in relief when he saw the flowing blonde hair of Cissy.

His cousin was staying with them for the week leading up to her wedding. Pureblood tradition stated she wasn't allowed to see her soon to be husband for seven days before the wedding. She stopped short at the sight of him, her eyes widening slightly before her face went blank in the trademark Black way.

She walked further into the sitting room, taking a seat daintily on the edge of another armchair, not taking her eyes off her younger cousin.

"You're leaving," she murmured after a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You're leaving, aren't you, Sirius?" she asked.

He stared at her for a moment, wondering how she knew, before he nodded slightly in reply. Casting a silencing spell over them, he looked her in the eye.

"I have to," he told her, and even he could hear the desperation in his voice. She had to understand that he didn't have a choice any more. If he didn't leave, he would destroy the family, or he would get them all killed. The distaste he held for everything his family stood for didn't stretch far enough for him to want them dead.

She didn't take her eyes off him as he pleaded with her to understand. Truthfully, she did understand, much the same as she had when Andromeda had done the very same thing. She didn't like it. She didn't particularly agree with it. But she understood it.

"Have you told Reg?" she asked quietly, sitting back in her seat and resting her head as she closed her eyes.

"No. I can't. He'll tell, or he'll try and talk me out of it, and damn it, Cissy. I love him. He's my little brother, and what I'm doing is so unfair to him, but I just can't stay any more. He agrees with them, he's a better son that I am. He'll be alright," he told her, trying to convince himself as much as her.

"When?" she asked after a moment's silence.

"Now. If I don't, if I wait, I won't do it."

"It's four in the bloody morning. Where are you planning to go?" she asked, her voice rising a few octaves as she opened her eyes to look at him incredulously. "And what about the wedding, Sirius? Were you planning on just leaving without telling anyone? Were you just not going to turn up at all?"

"I'm sorry. Really, sorry, Cissa. I'd love to be there for you, but it's not a good idea. Even if I wasn't planning on getting out of here, it wouldn't have been a good idea. You know that. You know me."

She nodded. However much she didn't like the idea of her cousin not being at her wedding, she also didn't like the idea of arguments or worse spoiling what was supposed to be the best day of her life.

"Accio Firewhiskey," she heard Sirius mutter, and she watched a bottle of Ogdens Best fly into his outstretched hand. Taking two glasses from the cabinet beside his chair, he quickly poured some of the amber liquid into each. He handed her a glass, which she took with a soft frown.

"I'll toast your happiness, Cissa, because as much as I don't like the man you're marrying, I hope you'll be happy."

She raised her glass as he did and took a sip, touched by his words. She knew he didn't like Lucius. Everybody knew he didn't like Lucius. She watched him carefully as they drank their drinks, and she could see the torment he was feeling at making such a decision. She knew that Andromeda had felt the exact same way, and suddenly, she wanted to help him clear his conscience.

"I'll miss you," she told him, standing. He stood with her, and hesitating slightly, he pulled her into his arms.

"I'll miss you too. And Reg. Tell Reg, just tell him I'm sorry, alright?" he asked, and she could hear the words get caught in his throat as he said them.

"You should pack. Aunt Walburga will be up in just over an hour, and you don't want her to find you. It wouldn't be pretty, and I doubt you want to see yourself blasted from the family tapestry."

Sirius laughed, a bitter laugh she had heard from him countless times before. "The last thing I'm bothered about, Cissa, is the bloody tapestry. Look after yourself, and try and look after Reg. He's going to need it."

She nodded and he left the room. She waited a few seconds before following him. What was supposed to have been a trip for a glass of water had turned into a goodbye she didn't want to share.

As she lay in her bed, staring up at the canopy, a single tear slipped from her eye, sliding down her face into her hair. She was glad though, that she had needed that glass of water. At least now, Sirius would know that someone from his family did still care.

That had to count for something, didn't it?


End file.
